Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Gutterballs Review


 Oversexed, extreme violence, raunchy, filthy, gratuitous nudity, gross, hardcore, sleazy, pornographic, etc, etc, etc.  The list goes on and on to describe Gutterballs.  When I first watched Gutterballs it felt like I had found an old unmarked VHS tape with an 80’s horror film in it that nobody heard of.  I was flipping out and could not believe that someone perfectly captured what made 80’s horror so great and still be original while doing it.  
    The characters were a bunch of horny, filthy mouthed teenagers and I loved everyone of them.  The performances were dead on and the cast had such great energy, probably the best energy I’ve seen from a group of actors in a while, probably since the movie The Lost.  Ryan Nicholson wrote a great screenplay, and his directing was fantastic.  You can totally tell he knew exactly what he was going for with this movie. 
    The opening titles shows the BBK (Bowling Bag Killer) making his weapons which are bowling pins shaved into deadly spikes, this scene is very close (but not ripping off) the opening titles to Nightmare on Elm Street. The first film that came to my mind while watching this movie was Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. And any of you guys or girls out there that has seen Sorority Babes will get the connection. If you haven’t seen it please do it’s a fun scream queen movie, with spanking, nudity, and an awesomely bad monster.  But lets get back to Gutterballs.  
    The kills in this film a very original and sick as hell.  The one kill that stole the show in my opinion was death by 69, I’ve never seen a kill like that in any other movie.  The makeup effects were very realistic.  Ryan Nicholson, who started out doing make-up effects for X-Files and has two movies under his belt (Live Feed and Torched), does a great job in Gutterballs. 
    There is a rape scene in this movie that goes on for like 15 to 20 minutes and it’s one of the most brutal rape scenes you will ever witness.  Not since I Spit on your Grave and Last House on the left have I been so disgusted by the scene Nicholson creates.  I won’t go into details but the rape ends with a bowling pin going some where a bowling pin should never go. 
    So in conclusion I would have to say this is one of the best horror films I’ve seen from a new director in a long time.  In the past me and my friends would quote Big Lebowski every time we went bowling, but now we quote Gutterballs, yeah it’s that good.  I’m looking forward to Ryan Nicholson’s next films which are sure to be classics one day. There is a Gutterballs sequel on the way called Gutterballs 2: Balls Deep, I can’t wait to see it. Oh, and by the way, when you watch Gutterballs, be sure to have your beer and whores close by.          
    









Thursday, January 24, 2013

VHS - Just Watched Review

It's three in the morning and this is my first "Just Watched" reviews.  "Just Watched" reviews are reviews for films that I wrote the minute i was done watching the movie.  It's late but ill try to get everything i want to say in the review.  So pretty much its a review of a film so awesome that i have to write it immediately after watching it.  So here is my review of the film VHS.

VHS is an anthology film featuring five stories each one very well executed and very original.  Each story was done by a different director and writer.  The movie was fucking sick and really fucked up.  Its awesome how much you cared about the characters in such a short amount of time to care about them.  You'll get what I mean when you watch the film.  It's too late for me to go through each story plus I don't want to give anything away, and I also won't go through all the directors and writers of the film cause I would have to look them up and I'm too tired. The only director I recognized was Ti West who's latest films were House of The Devil and The Innkeepers.  Ti West is an amazing horror director and does a great job with his story.  VHS is very scary and very violent.  There are a lot of what the fuck moments in this film, i must have said what the fuck about Twenty times no joke.  Its a perfect halloween movie too especially the last story.  I hear they will be releasing the film on VHS format so i can't wait to get a copy and proudly put it up there with other anthology films such as Creepshow and Cats Eye.    





  

* Shit  
** Worth your time but not money
*** Worth your money
**** Fucking sick horror flick

MOVIE - ****

NUDITY ***

VIOLENCE ****











Thursday, January 17, 2013

You Little Maggot

Maggots are filthy creatures even worse then a cockroach.  Horror movie have used maggots to get scares and disgust for years.  Here are the top five of my favorite maggot scenes in horror.  Of course there are a ton of scenes from horror movies involving maggots these are just a few examples. Let me know what your favorite maggot scene is in the comments below.


5. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6 JASON LIVES


When Tommy digs up Jason's grave and opens the coffin, there lies Jason covered in maggots, it grossed me out when i was a kid and it grosses me out now.  The best is when it starts raining and the maggots fall off jason squirming on the ground.






4.  POLTERGEIST

This is a great scene when the character after taking a bit of his chicken leg looks down and sees maggots crawling out of it.  Disgusted he goes to the bathroom to wash up only to begin to tear off his own face.  Poltergeist are nasty beings!






3.  CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD

Imagine having millions of maggots being blown at you.  A wind storm of maggots is not something i would like to experience but the actors in this film did and for that i give them major credit.






2.  DRAG ME TO HELL

Spewing maggots from your mouth into someone else's mouth is disgusting.  But Sam Raimi did it and it became one of the most disgusting scenes in the movie.






1.  THE FLY

This one speaks for itself, imagine giving birth to a large maggot . . .
















Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Your Mother Sucks . . . Well You Know the Rest

The Exorcist is one of the scariest movies i have ever seen.  Its actually the real reason why i don't believe in religion, every time i went to church the hairs on the back of my neck would standup it really freaked me out bad.  The movie has some of the best imagery iv ever seen in a horror film. Here are some of the best images from the film WARNING: COULD GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES.








Sunday, January 13, 2013